The Terrible Truth About Comment Spam

The great thing about having a blog as popular as mine is that I attract a lot of spammers. In particular, I attract a lot of comment spam. Now, you might think to yourself why would the marvelous Navid enjoy being popular merely because of the spam? Isn’t spam a bad thing? You would, in most cases, be completely right. But alas spammers have become ever so clever.

You see – the types of people who start and operate blogs all have very similar character traits: they are needy, self-righteous, attention-seeking narcissists (present company included). Recently, spammers have caught wind of this phenomenon and have started exploiting the blogger’s Achilles heel in order to propagate their agenda much more effectively. More than half of the comment spam I receive is positive and complimentary. It hurts me to even think about deleting it.

I get such thoughtful comments like “Your website content and structure is wonderful” or “Awesome, site!” These are the types of comments even my family or friends wouldn’t leave. So you see, spammers fill a very large void of cyber-love that is missing in the life of most bloggers. That’s the terrible truth about comment spam: we need it more than you know. So please, for the love of all that is sacred, stop improving spam filters! Stop creating effective universal blacklists! Stop the anti-spammers! Let the vile low-lives of the interweb bring an ounce joy into my otherwise hollow and devoid life. It’s the least that I deserve after spending all those days tweaking my CSS stylesheets.

Adieu. Navid.