From the horse’s mouf

Someone had to go out and do it. Someone brave, fearless and ridiculously good looking. And that someone was naturally me. I tried snowboarding for the first time in my life after being a pro skier* for the past 8 years or so. I won’t go into the morbid details but I will tell you that I probably will never sit the same. I have muscles which I am certain didn’t exist aching. I have shoulders, wrists, butts and ankles screaming bloody murder. Yes — butts — as in more than one and don’t ask how that’s possible. It just is.

The bottom line is that I have now tried both. I am instantly a man of wisdom and experience for all that is snowboarding and skiing. And I will set the record straight once and for all:

Skiing > Snowboarding

That is all I have to report today. I must now go lay down and weep quietly to myself. I was humiliated in ways I never thought possible. I was violated in ways which I never knew existed. I got hurt in places I never dreamed feasible.

Painful Adieu. Navid.

* moderate to average skier lacking technique and fundamentals; making up for it in overconfidence and ignorance.

PS. I am so god damn hilarious. Observe:

(22:00:00) Navid Azimi: damn
(22:00:03) Navid Azimi: i missed your call
(22:00:12) Navid Azimi: i tried to get out of my chair
(22:00:27) Navid Azimi: but every muscle in my body unanimously vetoed my decision
(22:00:29) Navid Azimi: and i fell back down
(22:00:37) Navid Azimi: with a great “aahhhh fuck that hurts”