Words, Word.

Don’t you just hate it when you misread something for no apparent reason? The other day I was talking with the girlfriend over instant messenger and she wrote “byes” — and I just kept starring at it trying to figure out what the fuck “b yes” meant. Completely ridiculous, I know.

Anyway, I have a love for words and verbiage so it’s only right that I enlighten my handsome readers with some everyday words they can throw out nonchalantly to impress their respective crews… or just demolish their grandma during an innocent game of Scrabble (r). Therefore, without further adieu, here is a list of words and their definitions that you should know, courtesy of Encarta Word English Dictionary.

1. Defenestrate: to throw something or somebody out of a window (formal or humorous)
2. Garbology: study of waste materials: the study of a cultural group by an examination of what it discards
3. Digerati: computer experts: people who have or claim to have a sophisticated expertise in the area of computers, the Internet, and the World Wide Web
4. Hallux: first digit on the foot: the big toe on the human foot, or the first digit on the hind foot of some mammals, birds, reptiles, and amphibians (technical)
5. Otiose:
• not effective: with no useful result or practical purpose
• worthless: with little or no value
• lazy: unwilling or uninterested in working or being active (archaic)
6. Cullet: glass to be recycled: broken or waste glass returned for recycling
7. Pellucid:
• clear in meaning: easy to understand or clear in meaning (formal)
• transparent: allowing all or most light to pass through (literary)
8. Borborygmus: stomach rumble: the rumbling sounds made by the movement of gases in the stomach and intestine (technical)
9. Embrangle: perplex somebody: to confuse, perplex, or entangle somebody or something (archaic)

And here’s my example:

Although this paragraph will leave many of my otiose readers embrangled, the fact remains that had they spent the appropriate time studying the list of words above, the meaning of this passage would be nothing short of pellucid. But alas, since most of my readers are unmotivated creatures and would rather sit at home staring at their hallux or listening to some borborygmus, I cannot expect too much from them without risking the chance of being disappointed. However, as you may have guessed, the true purpose of this passage was to enlighten my readers regarding the dying study of garbology (with an emphasis on cullet) due to the new severe laws against defenestration.

Adieu. Navid.