Somber Friday

I’m not feeling too well lately. I don’t have the flu nor am I sick. I’ve just been examining and contemplating my course in life. I’m feeling old but not in that cliche’d — oh woe is me I am old — sense but alas, more in the sense that I can look back at my decisions in the past and realize their honest mistakes. Maybe I’m just being somber and that I should just stop thinking so much and believe that everything happens for a reason. I’m tired of justifying my past judgments today; I am tired of simply justifying myself at all. I’m tired of not being as happy as I feel I could be, maybe even deserve. Although that’s really pushing it. I feel that the stagnant incestuous pool of every day life is fogging up my mind, my memory and my thoughts. I feel as though I need to get out of this perpetually downing gear. I need to graduate. I need to do something with my life. I am so busy. I’m not even sure for what. I don’t have enough time yet I don’t know anything else. I need to stop making pointless entries and figure this fucking life out.

Adieu. Navid.